Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
