i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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