frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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