ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
