I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
