Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
