I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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