I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
