I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Vodka?
Forever.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
