I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
