For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
