So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
