I want to walk on stilts...naked
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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