So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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