Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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