Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
