I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
