bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
