does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize