help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
