just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
