that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
