I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
