The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
