Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
