He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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