That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
