I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
