She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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