Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
