i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I want to stick my p in your. b.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
