My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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