I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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