I must be too annoying 4 u.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize
