yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
