you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
