I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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