weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
