she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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