guys are not supposed to queef...right?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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