The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
