I'm going to jail i love you
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
