please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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