Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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