yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
