Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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