Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
