three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize