The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
