So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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