Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
