I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
