You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
