But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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