If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Randomize
