seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
It's official drugs can't kill me
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
