We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
My vagina just recognized that song.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
